Monthly mustings: March

It going to be a bit different layout this month. A) because I forgot to take any pictures. B) otherwise it would take a lot of time to actually remember what I did this month and before you know it the next month arrives.

So we waved goodbye to march. Spring sadness more like it. Had bad news after each other. So here is the bullet points of what happened in March.

1) Several lunch out with grandparents, very yummy to.
2) I had an English speaking and listening exam. Which I think didn't go to well. Not into speaking very much.
3) My friend got a new mini. Lucky thing. So the day after she got it she keeps identifying which mini is which. It is so surprising by how many mini's there are when you point them out. I'm sure we keep seeing the same ones.
4) Been playing mind trap over the days in the March and now banned from playing it with my friends since I keep getting the answers right. (Anyone up do playing mind trap?)
5) Been doing assignments and getting good rambling on about nothing but not getting good at getting to the point.
6) Having lovely walks in the afternoon when the sun is out.


So that is my summary of March. Maybe April would be a bit better.

Either

could someone define for me balance
teach me trade-offs, color me compromise
i do not know how to position
myself in the middle of
capsizing ship
if it fits, i want it too big
or too small
too much to exist
or too nothing at all

i’ll exhaust every bit of you
with my spider leg limbs
spend an eternity pondering
how low i should dim every
bright light i’ve ever known
either searing or pitch
or it isn’t home
your lips taste like chloroform;
i could choke myself on them
fingers like switchblades;
i think i could die on them

i have this affinity
a tendency
towards self-destruction
joints stretching like days
(like they’ve always been)
either exploding outwards
or imploding in

sound of a spine
pop, pop, popping
twisting shoulders backwards
hang me from my feet
somehow i become less
dizzy upside-down
high from the feeling of
blood rushing up
not to my head, but
to the ground

caustic conundrums
eyes either popping out of skull
or swallowed
stormy seas or sparking sand
i am a metronome
not like a heartbeat
but a convulsion

there are so many possibilities
as to how i take my shallow breaths
in this beautiful world
but none of them are beautiful

Book after book

Last week has been busy doing assignments but still managed to fine time to read three classics. I do not normally read classics but I managed to get stuck in. I don't normally review a book but since a lot of my friends ask me 'How was this book' I might as well give a try to review a book.

Deep breath. Here the journey commence. Oh just a bump over here this review might contain spoilers. So read if you wish if not read the book then read my review even leave a comment.

First book

I read this book back in August and fancied re-reading it again.

'This story is a lasting one with characters that are remembered long after the last page is read' There was never a story so historically accurate and yet so immersed in its character's own lives as Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. Set in the American South, Alabama, Lee masterfully spins a tale of prejudice and ignorance of equality through the young yet intelligent eyes of a little girl, our central character, Scout Finch. "Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember 'This story is a lasting one with characters that are remembered long after the last page is read' There was never a story so historically accurate and yet so immersed in its character's own lives as Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. Set in the American South, Alabama, Lee masterfully spins a tale of prejudice and ignorance of equality through the young yet intelligent eyes of a little girl, our central character, Scout Finch. "Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird" – a lawyer's advice to his children while he defends the real mockingbird in this story, Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white girl. In the time of the Great Depression when rights for black people had only just been won, the odds are cruelly turned against Tom and his lawyer Atticus Finch. But inequality is everywhere, not just in court. Seen and heard by Scout and her brother Jem in their very own neighbourhood in Maycomb, hidden in snide comments and everyday actions. Family name, colour, race, background – all values that the adults of Maycomb hold so dear. It only takes a child with an open mind to see how very wrong they are. The characters in To Kill a Mockingbird are vividly drawn to build an entire world. The beliefs and faults of the Deep South in the thirties are humorous and yet not only make the reader think, but teach them of how people used to think of race in the past, and how foolish this way of thinking was. Harper Lee uses fiction to show what real courage is, not "a man with a gun in his hand" but "when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what". Although the lengthy and detailed descriptions of the characteristics and habits of Maycomb County and its residents may seem a little unnecessary or stilted, this is what makes the small town seem like an entire world to the reader and also, later on in the book, the reader will be sure to come to the realisation that a lot of these characteristics and habits are the product of prejudice. Boo Radley will seem quite a significant mystery towards the start of the story, a never-heard-of man who stays locked up in his house, never seen by his neighbours. However, once the major events of the trial and several other happenings occur, the reader, as well as the characters in the story, Jem and Scout, will come to know that Boo Radley is a perfect example of the effects of judgment based on race, family and colour. Lee uses a perfect blend of character, mystery and history to portray the past as accurately and honestly as a classic such as this could. This story is a lasting one with characters that are remembered long after the last page is read. A touching book, simply for being so remarkably real Second book 'I felt rather lonely after the March sisters had gone as I loved their spirit and felt as if I was almost one of them, which is a clear sign of this book's greatness' Four sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March, are part of a poor but loving family. With their father off to war they have only their mother left to encourage them to be the best version of themselves at all times. As they go through love and loss they truly do learn to become 'little women'. I found myself, after reading the last line 'I felt rather lonely after the March sisters had gone as I loved their spirit and felt as if I was almost one of them, which is a clear sign of this book's greatness' Four sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March, are part of a poor but loving family. With their father off to war they have only their mother left to encourage them to be the best version of themselves at all times. As they go through love and loss they truly do learn to become 'little women'. I found myself, after reading the last line twice over just to check, satisfied yet in want of more. It was a refreshing read that made me care for the sisters and left me wanting to know what led Alcott to write this simple masterpiece. As all well-known books do, it had a fair few morals that, although made the characters seem a bit too perfect to be real, were reasonable and made me want to make up for my faults (of which there are many). Alcott's writing was elegant yet poignant and haunting at moments, and perfect for the era it was set in, whilst the sister's personalities were intricately described throughout the whole book. It gave you a sense of what it was like to be a normal family in the 1800's and subtly showed the feelings of each character. However, I have a few complaints. I a lot of my friends read this book and found themselves scanning the book and not actually reading it at times and reading other books because of its slow plot. There aren't many exciting events to keep the reader hooked throughout. I also at times found the characters annoyingly perfect and would have liked just a couple more arguments. All in all though, I felt rather lonely after the March sisters had gone as I loved their spirit and felt as if I was almost one of them, which is a clear sign of this book's greatness. I know I will remember this book for years to come and it will always feel as if it were almost yesterday that I read it, as it is a book to treasure and keep on a dusty bookshelf to pass on for generations Third book I was surprised by how much I liked Wuthering Heights because I didn’t agree with some of the assumptions, felt lost in the class-related themes, and didn’t especially like any of the characters. But something about this class still had me reading compulsively. This is a book that speaks to the death of romantic notions; even the relatively happy ending doesn’t seem to come from a grand love or fiery romance, but from quiet acceptance. The only (presumably) successful relationship doesn’t start i I was surprised by how much I liked Wuthering Heights because I didn’t agree with some of the assumptions, felt lost in the class-related themes, and didn’t especially like any of the characters. But something about this class still had me reading compulsively. This is a book that speaks to the death of romantic notions; even the relatively happy ending doesn’t seem to come from a grand love or fiery romance, but from quiet acceptance. The only (presumably) successful relationship doesn’t start in secret and it is never dramatic; it is a quiet acclimatization of two people towards one another, a co-evolution. To me, in many ways, Wuthering Heights was an anti-romance, exactly the opposite of what I had been expecting. The plot follows the relationship between a well-to-do country girl, Catherine, and the orphan boy, Heathcliff, taken in by her father and how their relationship affects everyone in their influence over a generation. Catherine marries a boy closer to her station and Heathcliff’s life then becomes one of proving himself and of illustrating the error of his loved one’s ways. It does not go well, not for anyone. This, of course, makes for an excellent tale. Even as I was wrapped up in the story, I struggled with how unsympathetic all of the characters were. They were foolish, naive, vindictive, whiny, and self-absorbed. They were, I suppose, very human, though in some cases it was hard to see anything redeemable about them at all. Take Catherine, the beloved whose rejection of Heathcliff spurs the book’s events. She had a singularly high sense of self-worth: "But I begin to fancy you don’t like me. How strange! I thought, though everybody hated and despised each other, they could not avoid loving me. And they have all turned to enemies in a few hours: they have, I’m positive; the people here." And then there is Heathcliff, the central character of the book, the one woven into the cultural fabric, whom I thought I knew before reading a single page. Turns out I was wrong. My very first thought as I got into the book was one of utter disbelief: This is the Heathcliff that is supposed to be a sex symbol? I mean, somehow, that was my expectation before I cracked the spine. I expected Heathcliff to be dark and troubled and romantic and dreamy. Instead, he was possessive, controlling, and manipulative. Not to mention a little crazy by the end. Heathcliff is the kind of boyfriend who blames you for his unhappiness and reminds you over and over that he would die if you left him. He was a selfish ass, albeit one whose unpleasantness may be the result of a hard-knock life. Sure, maybe Edgar Linton isn’t the kind of guy to get a girl all hot and bothered, but his love is as intense and enduring as Heathcliff’s. And way less creepy. A contextual disclaimer: I say this as someone who almost always falls for the dark, troubled, morally ambiguous characters. (Now, cast Johnny Depp in the role and I might have to reconsider.) Heathcliff does serve as an excellent reminder of the pitfalls of pride. So much of the tragedy in Wuthering Heights comes from pride. We see the deadliness of this particular sin, as people choose misery and inaction over the potential of humiliation. It is this part of the characters I most related to, in spite of the fact that it often made them so very unlikable. As Ellen Dean tells a young Heathcliff, “proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.” It was Ellen Dean whom I came closest to liking. In many ways, this is her story far more than Heathcliff’s or Catherine’s or Lockwood’s. Sometimes, I was frustrated by Dean’s inability to see that she was making the same mistakes over and over, and her lack of imagination when it came to potential consequences. But as our guide to the world of the Grange and the Heights and the moors, she was engaging, even as her dangerously Pollyanna-ish tendencies were frustrating. Even she saw her mistakes, her role in the story’s tragedy: "I seated myself on a chair, and rocked to and fro, passing harsh judgment on my many derelictions of duty; from which, it struck me then, all the misfortunes of my employers sprang. It was not the case in reality, I am aware; but it was, in my imagination, that dismal night; and I thought Heathcliff himself less guilty than I." Over and over, Dean justified the bad behaviour of others, or imagined that this time everything would be decorous and proper. Perhaps, it is decorum and propriety that are to blame for Dean’s powerlessness. The constraints of class and station are very foreign to me as a modern, middle class, Western reader. When I read books where the star-crossedness comes from class distinction, I often wonder what today’s equivalent would be. Is there one? In this culture so obsessed with independence and free will, it seems almost certain that Catherine and Heathcliff would indulge their passion, that Catherine would not choose Edgar simply because Heathcliff is below her. Even then, though, I imagine the relationship as something doomed. To me, the tragedy here lies in the flaws of the characters rather than in society’s oppressions and circumstance’s cruelties. I concede there are many other ways to read this book. That plurality appeals to me. The text supports so many interpretations, any number of focal points. I have, for instance, nothing to say about Lockwood or Joseph (although that may be because I could barely manage to interpret his accented words). If Bronte had written a simple story, with clear heroes and villains and moral lessons laid bare, would the book have withstood the test of time the way this one has? Or would it become dated and empty as mores shifted? How differently I must read this book than a 19th-century reader would have. Finally, a word or two about madness: It is interesting the way the book conflates madness and illness while at the same time casting a moral judgment on the sufferers of both. Sickliness is a shorthand character trait in this book and madness a character flaw. Again, this attitude is likely a product of the book’s era, but it’s one that I found intriguing because of the inherent contradictions I see in the way it was handled. In its own way, Wuthering Heights is a perfect read for a long weekend. It is a novel about what happens when the guy doesn’t get the girl and how the universe can be set right again. In between, there is melodrama, tragedy, madness and, possibly, ghosts. It’s a quick read, a fun one, and the kind of book that gives you a little bit of insight into the stew of popular culture. Plus, it’ll make you feel good about yourself, since you’re almost certainly wiser, more humble, and less shallow than any of Bronte’s classic characters. That is all my three classics though my book that I just finished today ish. Was not a classic but thought you might want to read what I thought of it. This book was easy for me to read though my friend no shame and name here found it hard to read. And that what makes it so brilliant. Holly Bourne takes the somewhat prohibited subject of mental health and reveals it to us in its messy, flawed, heart-breaking existence in an eye-opening, harrowing account of a girl's battle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I loved this book. So much. I was basically a squealing, flailing, sobbing mess with a happy heart but tears dancing across my cheeks due to one of the most beautiful YA literary experiences I've had in a while. Even now a day passed, my feelings for this book haven't dimmed in the slightest - in fact, they've grown. I literally can't stop thinking about this book, about the characters, the writing and the truth it speaks. I'm in love with Am I Normal Yet? and I'm sure you will be too. I think I'll begin with how much I adore the characters. My own diorders hasn't been that great lately and especially at the time of writing this review and it makes me so badly wish that I could call up Evie and speak to them as well Amber and Lottie who I would love to have a friendship with. The characters feel so real and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I loved Evie. She was so relatable and so honest with us about her struggle. She felt like a breathing, existing person - every character did! It feels like they're out there, living in the real world and to say anything else would be sacrilege. I loved Evie, she was funny, she was thoughtful, she tried to get better, she tried hiding her illness not only so she could continue trying to live society's idea of normal to protect herself from the hatred of the world and the disappointment of those close to her. I also thought Holly Bourne tackled the thoughts people with mental illness are bombarded with superbly well. The bitterness and the self-loathing and the desire to be "normal"whilst then further discussing the topic of what is normal anyway? Evie's also slightly naive which is understandable as she hasn't been on the social scene for three years. She was mistreated and left feeling helpless and foolish several times due to dating and I felt so sorry for her but I liked that that too was realistic. I liked that Holly Bourne showed dating in it's awkward and often disappointing glory. YA books tend to have unrealistic dating scenarios and I loved how this book showed that dating isn't always picture perfect and, especially when you're sixteen, it can be disappointing, it can be awkward and it make things worse instead of better. I felt like I was learning along with Evie and drinking up life lessons with her. This book taught me so much about life, love and anxiety and I can't thank Holly Bourne enough for giving me this opportunity to be enlightened about so many important areas. I loved Evie's friends Amber and Lottie! I loved Amber and how passionate she was about feminism. She's strong-willed and determined but she's also vulnerable and self-conscious and I liked how the author balanced those qualities out. I really liked Lottie too. She was intelligent and she knew it and didn't allow herself to dumb herself down for guys like many people do. I adored Evie's little sister, Rose. She was so supportive and wise and I loved her! I also liked how Bourne showed that Rose also had problems to deal with and that everyone, no matter how fine and lovely they may appear, is dealing with something. Then there were the three love interests scattered throughout the book (don't worry, there wasn't a love triangle/square thing). Guy was a total jerk and I thought maybe he had some redeeming qualities after the party where he helped Evie but I don't think he could ever fully redeem himself due to his weed/smoking habit. I never liked him though and my dislike for him just grew throughout the book. Ethan…I laugh just thinking about him. He was a character, that's for sure. Oli! I LOVE OLI. I want a book from Oli's perspective so badly I really hope Oli features in the sequels because I love his adorableness so much. Evie, Amber and Lottie are really there for each other, always uplifting, supporting and empowering each other even if one engages in activities that they don't agree with. I loved how this book showed the meaning of true friendship - of accepting and loving someone despite their flaws. I also love how it showed that relationships can be fickle and fleeting but a sturdy friendship can withstand the tests of time. I loved how it showed that if someone accepts you completely despite the panic attacks and the irrational fears they're someone worth fighting for. The plot was great too. I flew through the book (when I wasn't taking a minute to remind myself that I wasn't Evie because it literally felt like we, the reader, are submerged in Evie's thoughts) and it was an addictive read. I appreciated the honesty in which it showed the tiring, pointless fight between logic and irrationality and the treacherous climb it takes to reach the cusp of "normality". The cusp of full recovery and the quickening downward spiral as you lose your footing, falling to the bottom of the mountain and have to repeat the slow, exhausting climb once again to reach the person you used to be - but this time you're weighed down by the baggage of doubt and crippling fear that you won't be able to stitch your fragmented self back together again. This struggle was depicted with such heart-rendering candor it quite frankly had me sobbing because Holly made me understand, she made me live Evie's struggle and it was jarring but I'm so thankful for that. That she provided me with the unflinching truth that will help me understand the world and it's people slightly more. I also appreciated that Holly Bourne didn't romanticize mental health. Nothing could heal Evie miraculously and Holly made it quite clear in the book that Evie would have to keep working at it. The recovery process was so genuine that I...I don't actually have words it was just utterly PERFECT. It highlights the fact that it's a constant effort to get better and then you will have a relapse along the way, it's inevitable, and then you'll have to keep working at it to get back to where you used to be. It's frustrating and it's exhausting and Holly emphasized that truth. So many books write a romance that fixes the protagonist's problems and I may have screamed with joy that this book didn't have that. Sure, I adore a love story that fixes all of life's problems and where the couple ride off into the sunset on a white horse and live happily ever after as much as the next girl, but as much as we want that to happen, it doesn't. This book shows that not all guys are going to be Augustus Waters or Tobias or Will Herondale, they're not going to whisper poetry into your ear when you're crying, or be by your side day and night, or profess their love for you under a moonlit sky. Sometimes the guys want to take advantage of you, a lot of the time they smoke, drink, sleep around and do drugs and a lot of time they won't be as supportive as you would like if you say you have a mental illness. I mean, of course that's not always the case, but generally speaking. This book portrayed relationships honestly and showed how they can muddy the waters and complicate things instead of making things better and I applaud that. The writing was excellent too! I love how it's a running commentary on Evie's thoughts. You're basically in her head and that is quite a terrifying and uncomfortable place to be but that just once again proves Holly's extraordinary talent to expose the blatant truth of how catastrophic it is to live with a mental illness. It was excellent. Am I Normal Yet? was an extraordinary novel that left me reeling. It was a harrowing, hopeful account of one girl's struggle with a mental illness and her determination to overcome it. I haven't felt this much reading a book in awhile, it tore at my heart and freed the tears that threatened to spill...but it also attached wings to my heart and made it soar as the undercurrent of hope and strength grew as I turned the pages. Holly Bourne wrote this book with such honesty. So many sentiments Am I Normal Yet? held were thoughts that had echoed mine before and that just proves how brilliant this book is. If you want a book that will make you understand the world, understand yourself and leave you mind-blown, read this. Truly a stellar read. Watch this space for more reviews, I am on GoodReads if you are interested in that thing. still finding my feet on the website though. Now if you excuse me, I am going to start to read my second book today 'the art of being normal'

I wish I was (a flaw exmination)

I wish I was witty

Well writer

I wish I was wise I wish the percentage

of times I'm right  about things

went from 95 to 100

because really, I'm right a lot of the time

but I would like to be right

all of the time

I wish I could sing better

people tell me I can sing

but I wish I could sing the best

I wish belting on a west end stage

came as naturally to me

as mumbling does

I wish I was the best

at everything, really

I wish I could take to people without choking

and I wish I could talk to people in person

also without choking

I wish my feet don't smell so bad

and that I didn't cry in public

as often I do

I wish I didn't get jealous

and I wish I could stop thinking

that the people laughing near me

are laughing about me

I wish I could stop cracking my fingers

not because I want to stop

but because it grosses everyone out.

I wish I was more flexible

in terms of touching my toes

and changing plans

I wish I didn't think about

eating the way I do

I wish I could have slice of pizza as partly without hating myself

I wish I was patient, less stubborn

and brave

I wish I was more interesting

but that might be one of those things where

everyone else thinks I'm interesting

but I don't because i';m me

and I know I spend most of days

reading books in my room

which isn't interesting

I'm not even saying that to be cute and quirky,

I am just genuinely undressed

in my room most of the time

I wish I was actually as mysterious

as everyone who doesn't know me thinks I am

I wish I didn't feel like

I had to be the best at everything

I wish I could give myself the freedom

to make a mistake without thinking about

the mistake for an entire week after the mistake,.

I wish I wasn't so hard on myself

maybe I should stop looking for things

I don't like about me now

 

See friends and readers of this blog. I still write poems. 



Mothly Musings:Feburary

I feel like February is a bit of a troublemaker. It knows how much effort it takes children at school to learn to spell its name. Even now I cannot get to grip of its name. This month has definitely been a troublemaker as we had the storm Imogeon and wasn't it a windy nearly knock me over.

My friends and I had a walked around Farnborough for about an hour and decided to treat ourselves with a cake and coffee and read our books.

It has been full packed month all right. From seeing my Grandparents for lunch, and lots of walking.


Here are some highlights.

February half term zoomed by. I remember telling my family I'm going to have a relaxing week but a productive one for my assignments. Not to sure how but somehow I ended up doing something everyday. I tell you what I got a memory of Goldfish even a Goldfish as a better memory than me. Now that tells you something. Oh no, I do not have Dementia. Honestly.

Day out with my bike to Farnham

Yes I cycled to Farnham and back. Not forgetting a visit to Farnham castle and quick walks near the Farnham town and drop by independent shops. Farnham castle on the crest of a hill overlooking the town of Farnham are the impressive motte and 'shell keep' of a castle founded in 1138 by Henry of Blois, Bishop of Winchester and brother of King Stephen. In medieval times the diocese of Winchester was the richest in England and Farnham was a favourite residence of the bishops. The castle was rebuilt in the late 12th and early 13th centuries, but a viewing platform reveals the buried remains of an easier tower.

After exploring Farnham castle I had a stroll on the high street to look for a cafe but only found that it was busy well what do you expert at 1:00pm? However I found a local pub ordered coffee and asked if it was O.K. to have my lunch that I made at home and of course it was. A good cycle ride deserves lunch and coffee at a pub next to a roasting fire.

It was then time to go back home by following the signs that says Farnborough, then managed to find myself following the path and finger cross it is going to take me a place that I am familiar with it and yes it certainly worked I find myself passing the place where we got my shed from. I also managed getting muddy by following the Blackwater valley path. So most of that journey I was walking, least I managed to get my 10,000 steps in my day. Well more like 39,252 steps I achieved the whole day.

I also stopped in Farnborough and have a warm drink only one answer to that. A mocha. Maybe I will stick to my black coffee now on. I also bumped into someone in Witherspoon's though I am afraid I do not who it was. Such a shame! (If it was you who I saw please a leave a comment. And sorry!)

I then managed to get home with only have the front light flashing red because it needs charging and the rear light decided to turn itself off because it ran out of battery. I was welcomed back home with a kettle being boiled in. Gosh am I old fashioned but a nice cuppa after a cold cycle ride back home is just what I need.

Day with my friends

I managed to run 2 hours. No mud in sight. Ah you got to joking. I thought I would do my normal route pass Tesco's and enter Blackwater Valley path pass the church and enter snaprails and go home with a cup of tea. Ah yes, mud enters that equation. I also overrun my run as I was meeting my friends at 12 actualy I got my too friends house around 1:30pm with a stop to a shop to get some biscuits. Though I got always made some. Maybe next time.

If you want to play Nintendo Will with me, you may have to deal with me losing and getting frustrated. I will stick with sports on the Nintendo Will that I can do. A game of tennis anyone? 

Though it was good catch up with my friends someone of them I have not seen since August where has that gone?

Thanks Emily for putting up with us especially the shouting at the TV.

Afternoon with my Great-Grandparents

Grufflo cake

Nope, I unfortunately do not have great-grandparents though just absolutely wonderful grandparents.

I had a couple of hours with my Grandma cleaning my bedroom which had not to done for a long of time. After that hard work cleaning and coughing and re-arranging things. Deserve lunch out, don't you think that? I certainly do and that is what we did. 

We went to Hungry Horse. Yummy. Did some shopping at Tesco's and a cake managed to jump from the shelf to our trolley. Can you believe that? That only means one thing cake and coffee when we get back home. And that is what we did. 

Wash up and managed to pick up my book oh and a few hours doing my assignment. See I did managed to get my assignment in the mix

Chocolate and what?

Well a whole day doing my assignments! Now I might want to do that might though I do have to reward myself with something that taste so good. Right! So what about a chocolate cake with a hidden secret of vegetable to get one of your five a day. 

I found a cucumber in the fridge that needs eating up. I love cucumber and chocolate cake so why not mix it together. I know what you're thinking...... Cucumber? In a cake? Has Rebekah gone made? No I have not gone mad.

I liked this cake, but my Dad wasn't a huge fan (he is a strange bird sometimes). I thought that it tasked like a traditional chocolate zucchini cake, but I did notice a bit of cucumber taste to it. My Dad thought this cake taste like toothpaste. Regardless, I enjoyed the cake and didn't think it was too cucumber-y. In fact, the chocolate and cocoa masked most of the cucumber flavour, so it was similar to just a regular chocolate cake to me.

A day rewarding myself

A whole day to do my assignment so much focussing and staying away from YouTube. Cupcakes saying 'eat me' means each bit of assignment I get though or just when I need a break I have a cake and coffee or a drink of water. And my Mum also got some Doughnuts from the shop they also managed to get a way to my tummy. Strange that. 

Quote of the month

Dad: You are clever, when Mum just cooked a roast dinner on Monday
Mum: I am not clever just mad.
Rebekah: Well all the best people are mad
(Referring to Alice in the wonderland)

Recipe of the month

Coffee and cucumber cake!!

4 TBSP cocoa powder

2 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 and 3/4 cups granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dash of milk

About one small cucumber, chopped finely with no seeds if you wish.

1. Directions Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Put about 12 cupcake cases in the cup cake tin.
3. In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Set aside.
4. In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a large bowl if using a handheld mixer, cream the butter and sugar with the paddle attachment on medium speed until light and fluffy.
5. Add the eggs, vanilla and buttermilk and mix until all the ingredients are well incorporated. The batter may look curdled.
6. Turn the mixer to low and gradually add in the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined.
7. Turn off the mixer and fold in the grated and drained cucumber by hand. 
8. Transfer the batter to your prepared baking pan and smooth out the top with a spatula. 
9. Bake in your preheated oven for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool completely before serving if you can wait for that long. I couldn't.

So if you are visiting me soon. Do not be surprised if you have a cake that has weird vegetables and bring your bike I got my next adventure planned out for my day out with my bike. How about going to the city of Bath and explore the Romans Bath? 

Too quiet

I can’t even scream

to the universe

at the top of my lungs

to ask her what the hell

is going on here—

i was told

sound can’t travel

in space

do you think the universe

did that as a joke

that she’s right up there

ready to listen

but once we get smart

enough to think to inquire

how the existence of

earth has transpired,

we’ll learn science said no

shouts can’t reach any higher

than atmosphere level down here.

so we’ll fire a rocket!

brilliant plan

with an offering and

list of questions in hand

“hello!” we exclaim

at the top of our lungs

to the universe

but she can’t hear

so we try again

little louder this time

“excuse me!” we shriek

“i think you’ll find this is

as important to you as

it is to me”

but the universe can’t hear you—

she’s sound asleep.

she couldn’t have done it on purpose,

you see

because with no sound,

she’s as lonely as you, even me

who would wish upon

themselves such a destiny

when anything

in the universe 

could be done

so we’re alone,

i conclude from the lack

of reply

it’s up to us, i suppose

to find truth the sky

Just like the old days, Writing Wednesday. Nah just fancied writing a poem today and wanted an excuse to post something. 

The ugly and the beauty in real life

I do not know about you. But when reading books they portray life as bright and beautiful. But if life is not challenging then how can you treasure those great memories for me it was on holiday last year we had those Tesco adventures. To me real life is where it goes up and down. And gosh it certainly is that extreme. I do not have time to do a normal post so here is poem that I made ages ago. 

Betrayal

Love 

Loyalty 

Respect

These all part of real life.

All part of everyday life.

Part of the life we live.

Part of life that shall never change.

Real life is no game.

Real life is dangerous.

Real life brings pain.

Real life brings fear.

Real life isn't easy. 

Real life is the world and the world is real life.

Real life is full of sorrow and hate.

For real life brings joy and happiness.

. 

Also brings betrayal and death.

Real life is precious and won't last for ever. 

So Enjoy real life as long as you can .

Before its gone and never comes back