Running against the riptide

All I want to do is run,

Run away from my emotions

Run away from my conflicts

Run because that's all I can do.

Swim because that's all I can do.

Cycle because that's all I can do.

Am I training for a triathlon?

Maybe!

Why?

Mind doesn't get on.

It tells me 

I am not good enough

I am lazy

I am not clever 

I don't have any potentional

Yet people tell me,

You are worth it

Am I?

I'm running against a riptide

Away from the darkness

Before it engulfs me

And eats me up

Running away is easy

Running on pavements is easy

Overcome those annoying thoughts

Isn't so easy.

Is it courage to run away

Or to put up with it

Why now?

The sun is out.

I could be reading my book outside yet

My mind is full of useless thoughts

Just anxiery playing up

It will slide up again 

And not down into a spiral
How low can get the spiral get?

How long would that take?
The jounrey that is never my miles, or meters.

Who knows how long the journey would take?
That could be an hour time
That could be in a day time
That could be in a week time
That could be in a month time
That could be in a year time

Who knows?

Who knows what to do with anxious mind?
Run
Cycle
Swim
Walk
Bake cakes
Read

Its like waiting for the world to end

What can you do when anxiety consumes you?
Before eats you up